Thursday, December 23, 2010

Morgue Anne: THE CARTOON!

CHARACTERS SPAWNED THUS FAR!
ME! (of course)
Peppertin- My ASS-istant
MY ABOMINABLE CREEEEATION!!!

Friday, December 17, 2010

JOHN K. - MY NEW HERO

Who doesn't remember rushing home to watch nick toons? Back in the golden age of nickelodeon, with all their boundary-pushing cartoons and action-packed Mike O'Malley game shows, there would be few among us who doesn't revere Ren & Stimpy as simply one of the best cartoons of all time.

Now years later, as I attempt to delve into the world of animation, a craft that I have the utmost respect for...my endless internet browsing has inevitably led me back to one man: John K, the creator of Ren & Stimpy.

While looking for animation tutorials, resources, and college courses, I stumbled across this website named ASIFA (The Hollywood Animation Archive) claming a "$100,000 animation course for FREE"! Best case scenario I was expecting tons of pop ups ads or one of those fake search engines with a bunch of bogus links.

"$100,000 ANIMATION COURSE FOR FREE!"

The introduction said it all...schools are a waste of time and a shit ton of money, and anything you need to know you can learn from Preston Blair's book "Animation" which you can purchase for $8. And who's advice is this? JOHN K! HOLY CRAP!

The following pages are his personal lessons to those daring to try them and post their results for him to critique. This gesture struck me as something not just rare...but practically non-existent in today's world. As someone that has consistently offered my services for free or to teaching anyone that wants to learn what I know, I can tell you there's only really one reason that anyone would offer this without monetary reward: out of a pure love of their craft. So started my true intrigue of John K...

He also offers a link to his personal blog to follow, where it's just a GOLDMINE of inspiration- from tutorials to doodles to vintage comics and toys to his silly t-shirts.

http://johnkstuff.blogspot.com/

Upon further stalking on his imdb profile, John K is a pretty infamous animator. He was fired for making a drug reference in the remake of the Mighty Mouse cartoon, then practically tricked Nickelodeon into buying into Ren & Stimpy, and calls Walt Disney the "blandest human on the planet" and that he ruined animation. He also blames Bambi and Lady in the Tramp for the "furry" fetish and regularly rants about how hippies destroyed modern entertainment.


"I just knew at the regular networks there was no way in the world they would buy my stuff undiluted. So I diluted it. I hid the Ren and Stimpy characters, surrounding them with a bunch of kids in a show called 'Your Gang.' And I made up a bogus pitch about it being socially conscious. I tricked 'em! I told 'em it was going to be unfunny; that it would be wiggly lines, nobody would be able to follow the stories, and nobody could identify with the characters. And they said, `Oh! That's exactly what we want!' And I totally lied." - John K.

After just 8 episodes, he was fired from Ren & Stimpy and Nickelodeon for arguing not only script but technique. He'll even use the alias "Raymond Spum" when he acts, writes or directs in a cartoon that gets edited in a way that he feels ruins it and robs it of his "artistic vision...he cares! HE ACTUALLY CARES! It's his passion and pride...an artist with integrity! What a breath of fresh air!
...not to mention he is extremely knowledgable, incredibly talented, and absolutely crazy.

John K on the impact of The Ren & Stimpy Show (1991): "I think we are destroying the minds of America, and that's been one of my lifelong ambitions."

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

He makes me have hope for humanity :-)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

IAN DOES AMERICA

i first learned of ian through a mutual friends' youtube videos. from there, i managed to find out where he worked and promptly secured a job at a company on the floor above his, making my presence known only by what i refer to as "drive-by shoutings". then came our first meeting. after tireless hours of deception and theivery, i discovered his cellphone number and sent ambiguous texts through the workday about the eagle landing and it needing a bath. The conversation soon turned to scheming to meet at a secret location within the building in order to exchange not only words, but a pirate and a ketchup packet for a DVD and a cinnamon munchkin. the stage was set, but...would he show up??? was it a trap??? only time would tell...

it was approximately 2:33pm and I reaked of fresh turkey sandwich, but he seems to only slightly wince as i introduced myself as his #1 stalker, i mean fan. The exchange of gifts and awkward glances was but a moment, as I knew I couldn't stay. I rushed back upstairs to stuff the munchkin in my mouth and watch the DVD. I could only hope that Ian was enjoying his ketchup packet and pirate just as much. I learned later from my many sources that ian left his job that very day. Apparently my pirate contained a treasure map that had never discovered within its booty. Although it was just a collectible toy from a happy meal, ian had a feverish idea that it was sending him out on a quest....a quest across america on his motorcycle.

although this is an amazingly awesome idea, it did make stalking him a bit more tedious. i immediately quit my stupid job and spend most of my time now taking his facebook photos and redrawing them as cartoons. (as pictured above) AND! to religiously follow his super awesome blog that he updates constantly about his whereabouts and all the cool stuff he's doing and seeing. he refuses to pay for lodging, dumpster dives for food, and hurts his butt. i recommend anyone ridiculous enough to of actually read this whole post to support him by following his blog.

http://wherelegendsroam.blogspot.com/

when I happened to notice that ian had more followers on his blog than me, i naturally challenged him to a battle to the death. He opted for a more peaceful alternative and suggested we cross-pollinate our weirdo friends and followers. Although it seemed like a radical hippie idea and already had my battleaxe in hand, I agreed under one circumstance- I get a turtle drawing, as it's the only form of currency I use.
EUREKA!




Coming soon: the dangers of shark apparel

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

one step closer....

to getting fired.
cupcakes are a big trend this season! But apparently loving them isnt'. Nickelodeon informed me to change the words "i love cupcakes" to "share a cupcake" as per their new "health and obesity initiatives". Who shares a cupcake?! My rebuttal:


Friday, October 8, 2010

FOUL MOUTHED PUPPIES- THE SEQUEL!

if you were silly enough to miss the 1st installment - do yourself a favor and check this out first -

FOUL MOUTHED PUPPIES ON CHAIRS AND OCCASIONALLY IN BATHTUBS!

This really should need no introduction:




Thursday, September 23, 2010

To all you pesky parents, from yours truly.

Truly appauled yet not surprised by Toys R Us for selling this...inspired this:

Friday, August 27, 2010

MY BELOVED


not that samson is ever going to die since he is the immortal god of bulldogs...

But if he does! I am totally keeping the skull...

how cool is this thing?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

HELLLLLLO KITTY

especially after the domain name post...
...i couldn't resist...



Wednesday, August 25, 2010

EXCITING NEW TOILET PAPER!

Have you ever classifed your bowel movements as exotic???
Have you always wanted to wipe your ass with an endangered species???

WELL NOW YOU CAN!



Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Websites and John Bastow

If you run websites or have ever had one, you know how EXTREMELY annoying buying a domain name is.

Sometimes your own goddamn name is owned by somebody already-

EX. sorry John Bastow, we don't care that you're a crappy wedding photographer from England for over 25 years, this is the guy that will always and forever be before you on your google search!

Fortunately, I have a unique enough name that the domain isn't flying off the shelf anytime soon, BUT I would never want my ACTUAL name as a domain anyway because that would add a level of professionalism that I never hope to achieve.

With that being said, i do have a fair share of websites under pseudonyms and company names and whatnot that do require unique domain names. So you struggle for days just to come up with any usable options.

Next step- Instantdomainsearch.com for the judge and jury...

1) FlawedbyDesign.com- taken
2) TenthMuse.com- taken
3) RecklessBeauty.com- taken
4) ExileDesigns.com- taken
5) RecklessbyDesign.com- taken
6) Viperine.com- taken
7) Devolution- taken

...Ok....so all of my fucking ideas are already taken...superb. Back to the drawing board...

BUT AT LEAST they are all legit websites...even if some only have a pathetic homepage up.

But nowdays there are scoundrels, (some individuals, some actual full companies) that are dedicated to buying domain names that they feel that they can profit from.

A domain name that isn't bought costs $7.50 from go daddy....
THAT'S SEVEN DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS!

BUT if your domain happens to have been bought by buydomains.com or some other sleezeball, they will charge you anywhere between $500 to $200,000. That's the highest one that I've seen, but they probably easily go higher when a certain trend pops up.

OR better yet, once you already have an established site, these same companies will buy the .nets or .orgs or anything close to your name that might be come up on a google search...then fill them with porn ads. Haha! Hope you were trying to sell dildos because you are now!

So...in the spirit of good ol' fashion nonsense. Here is a list of domain names that either should or shouldn't exist or at least shouldn't be taken, or are asking a ridiculous price.

1) BloodFarts.com- $4888
*BloodyFarts.com- also $4888
they've cornered the market on blood and farts!!!
2) ShakenBabies.com- taken
* Shaken-Babies.com- available
a reasonable alternative...
3) BondageGrannies.com- available
someone needs to take advantage of this
4) fuck 4
5) SatansPanties.com- available
* SatansPanties.net- taken
who the fuck buys the .net but not the .com...it's like $2 more?!
6) CarrotTop.com- taken
this must be destroyed...
7) PoopingBackandForth.com- available
again...someone needs to address this asap
8) EvenGodPoops.com- taken
* GodPoops.com- available
wow...
9) Hipster.com- $42,000
* HipstersDie.com- available
Well if it's cheaper to kill them...
10) AnimalMasturbation.com- taken
don't ask...
11) LlamaJuice.com- taken
I SAID DON'T ASK!
12) Taken.com- taken
* Available.com- taken
well that just blew my mind...
13) SexOver80.com- taken
* SexOver90.com- available
watch out all you 89 year olds...once you hit the big 9-0, your porn days are over
15) HelloBooby.com- available
Sanrio should own this because I could do evil things...
16) GodGodGod.com- $2588
Er....is this sarcastic or is this is a candyman reference???

More to come...


Friday, August 20, 2010

Life Artistry: a word to humanity

I declare myself a lot of things. conceptualist, artist, designer, philosopher, muse, adventurer, etc...but I think I will coin the term: Life Artist. That is, someone that truly creates the ever-evolving world around them.

I can't say that I understand most people, but after meeting enough of them, I get the distinct impression that I AM the freak.

But see...I just don't like the way the machine of humanity works. I see a vast sea of mediocrity fueled by two things: unoriginality and laziness. Which one is the bigger evil? I don't know.
If you can't find hobbies and have interests and passions that are beyond hanging out in bars and drinking, or watching television, or laying on a beach working on your tan, than you are lazy. And if these things really do hold your interest enough that you don't feel the need to look for anything else in life, than you are a cookie cutter human and the core of mediocrity. If you realize this and still accept it, then you are simply an idiot.

We all learn to read and write. We learn to tie our shoes and to eat with utensils. We learn to speak complex languages and computer programs...yet the SKILL of learning what makes us happy is hardly ever nurtured. When we are young, we are basically handed a booklet on how to be normal. Some people reject it...most people don't. Why question and criticize? Do we need to learn long division for a test we can use a calculator on? I write my own handbook...and it's written in my own language, nobody else is capable of reading it, and there are a LOT of notes, erasure marks, and edits.

Creativity is not about being able to draw or paint, it is about expressing a passion, whatever form that may take is completely individual. The people I have tried to surround myself with are all passionate in their own way. My one friend cooks the most unbelievable food and loves having other people eat it. Another is enthralled with cycling and creates events to bring other enthusiasts together. Another created an entire lingerie brand when everyone told her she was crazy. Another one captures the most breathtaking photographs. Another dedicated his time to writing incredibly imaginative, innovative stories. Another performs music in nyc dive bars. Another puts his life force into anything he sculpts.

Why? Because they love what they do and that's the only answer ever needed...

My instinct is to not accept things as they are if they don't suit me and I have lived my life accordingly. But it has been hard. It's a constant exhausting pursuit of something which has no name. I truly hope to never find the destination. I don't believe it even exists, not that it would matter.

I don't believe in God. If he does exist, I'll send him a thank you card for creating the best playground ever! Beyond being born, I take complete responsibility for my life, my triumphs and failures, my happiness...or unhappiness. Relying on a higher power to influence your life and your world is the epitome of laziness.

I don't believe 99.9% of people get married because they are in love. We just ping our needs out into the world like sonar unto someone pings them back, then we cling onto each other for dear life pretending it's much more special than it really is, especially when the needs are shallow to begin with. It is so EASY to become a part of sanctioned society. Get married, settle down, have children...gee there aren't enough people that want that...whereEVER will you find someone like that??? Please....do you know how FRUSTRATING it is to find like minded people when you are commited to NOT being boring?

There are some people that have the fire in them, but require a spark. This is how I became a muse, quite by accident, but it became a habit to inspire those that needs the push to become who or what they wanted to be or do what they wanted to do. In a world filled of fear and doubt, most people mentally defeat themselves before they start, but if you have ever been around for someone that accomplish something that they've always wanted to...it's the most beautiful thing on earth. They've just created their own happiness. :-)

Sorry for the serious post...back to nonsense tomorrow...promise...

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I'M THINKING ABOUT GETTING A HAIR CUT....

but i just can't decide!
i HAVE always wanted to be able to better express my inner rhino...











if only they had a monkey...

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

YAH YAH....NEXT?

zombie zombie dee
zombie zombie doo
whether latex, gelatin, or silicone
maybe i'm just bored of you...

really...it's not you...it's me, but i think it would be best if i just moved on!

so it's probably a mix of oversaturated media and my insatiable need for new and shiny things, but i'm kind of sick of zombies!

sick of making 'em, sick of seeing 'em.

i'm in the mood for some faster, smarter, meaner creatures. i want inspiring designs of monsters that strike fear on a supernatural level instead of just grossing people out by showing droopy flesh and coverering it in blood. Monsters that have an evil purpose beyond instinctual hunger. There is nothing pyschologically frightening about a zombie.
In Romero's newest SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD, there is so much emphasis on feeling pity for these creatures instead of fearing them, not to mention that it's done in such a cheesy way that it just becomes comical and dismissive.


i still love zombies...i do.

28 DAYS LATER
brought in an interesting alternative- fast zombies. unstoppable homicidal rage with no regard to self perservation is pretty frightening, i'll give ya that.

same thing and mixed with claustrophobia with QUARENTINE.

props also to DEAD SNOW for not only making the most outhouse and pooping related scenes ever in a zombie movie, but for making them intelligent, vengeful, and quite sadistic nazi zombies. (Not to mention having one of my favorite opening scenes of all time)

spoofs are also enjoyable, such as SHAUN OF THE DEAD and ZOMBIELAND did a good job, bringing ridiculousness to a whole new level.

but can we please please PLEASE can we see more monster movies?
(that aren't ruined remakes of 80's movies)

i have big ideas for my next project...a creature project...will update with progress!





Sunday, August 1, 2010

ONLY MY DOG UNDERSTANDS ME

Production stills from the still Untitled zombie short.
Director: Kregermeister
Zombie: Sean Griffith
Makeup/props: Morgue Anne & Peppertin

fresh victim still in the makeup chair
director hard at work
the visionaries
the zombie and it's creators
zombie heart throb

sean has had about enough of Kreg's direction
don't be sad little zombie...we still love you
showin' em how it's done
c'mon pup
alright, i'll carry ya
who's gonna clean this up!
method acting = funny
this is why we don't have nice things...
after a rough day

thanks for looking! <3

back to the lab!
onto the next project!