Tuesday, October 1, 2013


If there's one story that sums up my childhood, it's this.


Saturday Afternoon:

Mom: Here's some spending money. But whatever you do, just DON'T go buy $20 of candy.

Us: Sure thing!

We IMMEDIATELY bike down the street and buys 3 bags of candy, nonchalantly eating it directly outside.

Newspaper guy: Hey! Would you mind if I took an incriminating photo of you all eating large quantities of candy that you weren't supposed to buy AND take your names down just in case your parents don't recognize their jerky liar children in the paper tomorrow?

Us: Sure thing!

Sunday Morning:

Mom: Sooooo...what'd you guys end up doing yesterday?

Us: Oh...you know...some stuff... played some arcade games, rode bikes, ate some really really healthy food... (or some incoherent kid mumbles that sounded like a coherent lie)

Mom: Sooooo...you definitely didn't just go buy a bunch of candy?

Us: What!?..... No!

Mom: Are you suuuure?

Us: (still not even catching on) Of course not, Mom. What do we look like, idiots?

Mom: Yep! *holds up newspaper*

Behold the front page of the Asbury Park Press, of course on Sunday, so in full color.