blast from the past!

well, HEY there kiddies...

...as we delve deeper into the madness, i think it's important to remember your humble beginnings...

Out of all my notebook doodles and sketchbook renderings...I'm mostly amused by these because of the whole "gel pen" phenomenon. i...was...obsessed....

Done mostly in my junior and senior year math classes (thankyou mrs. thomas), these had really no purpose or meaning...they were just colored doodles...but as i look back on all the severed body parts and blood...it really doesn't surprise me that people were worried about me...and still are...

THE CLOCK i don't know why i'm obsessed with this imagery, but this is the first version and it was also made in pastels and acrylics.

THE SWING

Althought drawn very cartoony and comical, I love the concept of hanging helpless amongst everyone watching. I had used the same idea as a self portrait with my head being a sole lightbulb in a cavern of eyes...but hm...where the hell did that go...

GRABBERS

like flowers grow towards the sun, a strange arm plant all grabbing towards the light

DROWNING

i'm sure i had some kind of emo reason to draw this and it symbolizes me overwhelmed with some teenage problem...but really i have no idea.

BROKEN DOLL

Hahaha, i really wish i COULD remember my reasonings behind this drawing. i could make something up...but i'm pretty sure i just wanted an excuse to draw a naked chick

ORGY

Ok, i really thought i was being clever here.. pink=girl. blue=boy. together=purple. really it's just one big giant orgy...but i thought...ya know....no one would "get it". HA

LA TETE

really, i don't even like this one...i think it's kind of stupid...which is why i gave it a french name. i actually just put it up to show my complete disregard for human anatomy. check out those 2 neck bones. classic.

KISS

again, i have absolutely no clue what this is besides that i was probably daydreaming about making out. the nail? totally gratuitous. the handcuffed creature in the middle? um....
:: shrugs ::

Ok, well good to see ya..i gotta go return some video tapes...

:: scuttles away::

DOUCHE DICK!- the story of how i was banned from facebook uno within an hour

now as much as i have grown up and accept my adult responsibilities...and generally have a good will towards mankind. ::chuckle:: there's just some situations i simply can't avoid..like this one.

innnocent beginning: my friend jerry "draw four" accomando sends me an invite to play uno on facebook. oh look! now i can even humiliate him from the comfort of my own home! game on!

now...in all public chats...especially gaming ones...it's only human nature to want to test your boundaries! i type out a laundry list of curses and giggle while watching which ones are turned into &@#&%^$#% and giggle even louder at the ones that aren't. Obviously my present company did not appreciate my curiousity...

First of all: Meet the contestants! (because it's facebook so they actually let you see who these people are) Good idea / Bad Idea....?

Jennifer A.- what a sassy little sprite



Tracy C.- her keyboard is permanantly stuck on caps


And then here's me...innocent little me...covered in blood



UNEDITED AND UNABRIDGED CHAT:


Morgan O. uno sucks

Jennifer A. then why are you playing? lol

Morgan O. mother *#!$@ing *#!$@ suckers

Morgan O. *#!$@ damn *#!$@ *#!$@ douche dick

Jennifer A. what are you 12?

Morgan O. 35 actually

Morgan O. Isn't anyone else excited that the words "douche dick" weren't bleeped?

Jennifer A. grow up

Morgan O. what are you fat?

Jennifer A. no but my son is watching me play and reading this

Morgan O. well maybe you should be being a good mother instead of playing on facebook

Tracey C. U TELL THEM

Morgan O. haha, what the *#!$@ does that mean

Tracey C. U NEED 2 STOP

Morgan O. stop what

Jennifer A. acting like a child

Jennifer A. J a 35 year old woman shouldnt be speaking like that

Morgan O. so do you guys play uno because you cant count higher than 9?

Tracey C. JENN DO NOT TAKE THAT

Morgan O. you tell her, girlfriend!

Morgan O. love the caps...did you forget how to turn them off? Just move your chubby little fingers over above the shift key

Jennifer A. haha my son is laughing at the butch woman in the picture

Jennifer A. guess your pic speaks for itself

Morgan O. haha, oh, it really does

Tracey C. U 2 NEED 2 BE NICE

Morgan O. i thought that was pretty nice

Morgan O. wanker

Morgan O. haha, apparently british curses are ok

Tracey C. LOL 2U

Jennifer A. ok im not speaking to you anymore

Morgan O. no one asked you to anyway

Morgan O. buttlicker

Jennifer A. then please use respect

Morgan O. mrs. buttlicker ma'am?

Tracey C. U R A BITCH O

Jennifer A. lol

Morgan O. hahaha, and you're a buttlicker

Jennifer A. yes she is

Morgan O. wow really?? Lucky guess...its ok...

Morgan O. i accept you

Tracey C. I AM SORRY MS J

Morgan O. for what? did you pass gas?

Jennifer A. im pretty sure its a little kid fooling around

Tracey C. I SAY

Jennifer A. i really cant believe a woman would talk the way she is

Jennifer A. plus i just reported her to facebook

Morgan O. little kid, eh? definitely smarter than you

Morgan O. and probably half as smelly...

Tracey C. GOOD

Morgan O. YES. SUPERB.

Morgan O. I USE CAPS TO GET MY POINT ACROSS

:end of tranmission::

sorry to say that when someone wins (...which was SO unfortately NOT me...) the chat disappears so i missed the last couple whips i tossed there way...le sigh...

SO this might be the last of my facebook account...or at least my online uno playing days...but i only have one regret!....

that i never called that chick Jennifer A. Hole...SUCH A WASTE OF A GOOD 2ND GRADE INSULT! ARGGG!

And what did we learn today, kids???

The rules of chat censorship!

"I love dick!"- ok
"I love cock"- NOT OK

"I'm gonna fuck that ass"- NOT OK
"I'm gonna douche that bitch"- ok

death of a munchkin: a photo comic by morgue anne & michelle macomber

ALTERNATE ENDING: