OH WINTER...HOW I DESPISE YOU...

my mix of manic depression and memory of a goldfish always makes me forget how much i shut down during the winter months...hence no update since january. i really hoped that my kick-ass fall would last me through to spring, but than...it...got...colder...and colder...not to mention i was kinda unemployed and homeless for a little while, but hey, at least i made a snow troll!!!

SO! consider this my grand return to the world of ABSOLUTE NONSENSE!!

my new obsession: CARTOONING AND ANIMATION

it started in a number of places. first, my friend vince kept writing these ridiculous stories and couldn't get anyone to read them. i told him the problem was it was the wrong medium- he needed visuals. so i swore to bring them to life...or at least try.
but also, while interviewing for my new job, I was absolutely shocked at despite my complete lack of bargaining skills, the companies were fighting over me and were offering me more and more stuff to win me over. when recapping what had happened, somehow the analogy evolved that all i would have needed to do is “QUACK” and they would have kept piling on the perks. i don’t want to give anything else away, because the concept spun into a comic strip, aptly named:

MR. DUCK TAKES OVER THE WORLD!(click to enlarge)
ok, so mr. duck still has some work to do...but he's making progress. his story may continue to be in comic form, or might progress into animation. i'm not sure yet.

but, i always seem to make my most ridiculous purchases on sundays. $200 of video games, $300 on wall decals (one being a customized clock for the bathroom that still makes me giggle...

so $200 on an animation program isn't too out of character for me. my new best friend is ANIME STUDIO PRO 6. I’ve had it for less than a week and i am already enthralled with all the possibilities of the software. within a few hours, i had created this masterpiece, which i’m sure there’s 1000+ people with the same exact thing because I was just following the tutorial, but it's still a source of pride and accomplishment. (at least until i make something better)

i now have a whole new program to putz around with, not to mention i need some serious drawing practice time to be able to animate anything, so it's back to work!!! but one of these days i shall recap all my crazy adventures outside the lab. hehehe...

EDIT: i just realized why i love the concept of animation...i can do everything myself from start to finish. i can complete something all by myself without A RELIABLE CREW OR FANCY EQUIPMENT, which has been my downfall every time i try to shoot on film. it might take me 3 years, but i have pencils, paper and a bad-ass computer with all the software I could need, so fuck all the lazy or preoccupied mother fuckers that have made it impossible to get anything DONE!

yay! yippee! yahoo! yayyy!

PLEASE HELP ME FIND MY BRAIN!

I'm pretty sure i can accomplish anything when my mind is set on it...so where's is my mind...and why isn't it cooperating???

UPDATE*- BRAIN SEEN IN EGYPT with a suntan 1.14.10

hey, where you going with that?!

It wasn't just a dream....it was a

anyone that knows me has seen this gem among the many boardgames tucked away in one of my cluttered closets and wondered...

"what the hell is that...and why does it creep me out just looking at it?!"

well, i am here to tell you about the best board game in existence, folks. what's that? you don't like board games?! Well, go watch some football, jocko...this blog is for the nerds!!

The game comes with an hour long VHS tape and the GATEKEEPER punishes and rewards the players along their journey around the board. the idea is to be the first to collect 6 keys in order to beat the other players while dealing with the madness that the GATEKEEPER instigates. And everytime he refers to you, you MUST answer:

"YES MY GATEKEEPER!!!"

If nobody gets all 6 by the hour long tape...the GATEKEEPER wins and you all die!!!! (and he's definitely a gloater...so no one wants that)

You can actually play the entire game online now because some genius decided to post it in 10min increments on youtube- LINK! *bing* but you couldn't play without the board, cards, and the rest of the game...so i guess this is only really helpful if your VCR ate your tape??

i have yet to try the "updated" (yet still vintage enough to only be available on ebay) version of NIGHTMARE, which is ATMOSFEAR, but just the play on words in the title makes it far subordinate to the original. the only appealing aspect is that they use a DVD that randomizes the host's interferences, so there's more variety between games.

i am proud to announce that i am now the very proud owner of NOT ONE, NOT TWO, NOT THREE!!!! BUT FOUR nightmare games. they are getting to be more and more rare on ebay, but this crazy canuck just sold me the remaining three games that i have debated buying for years.

BEHOLD!i will be updating this post with my reveiws on the other games once they are played properly, which i plan on hosting a marathon this weekend!!

II is hosted by the zombie BARON SAMEDI
III is hosted by the witch ANNE DE CHANTRAINE
and
IV is hosted by the vampire COUNTESS ELIZABETH BATHORY

STAY TUNED

Strange Times, these are...

...and luckily we're the ones making them strange!!!

i wish I had an explanation for these...

no. wait. no, i don't...

Let's Make a Movie!

here's the official craigslist ad that keeps getting flagged and taken down for no reason.

CAST AND CREW NEEDED FOR HOLIDAY HORROR / DARK COMEDY- Students welcome!

Hello!

Anyone into horror should jump on the chance to work on this! We will be shooting on weekends in March.

It's a very innovative script for a horror/dark comedy Christmas creature movie. It was written and is being produced by 2 FX make-up artists and a stuntman/character actor, so the story is not only witty/creepy/scary, but visually will be quite stunning with the right crew and equipment to shoot it with.

I'm looking for creative and highly motivated people on board to realize our vision. Horror nerds a plus- we do love our genre!

CREW:

SOUND - Like any movie, sound is going to be extremely important so anyone with sound equipment or knowledge of it.

CAMERA -Someone that owns and operates their own professional digital camera with an audio input is ideal. We really have no budget, but I am willing to pay what i can for someone with the right equipment and skills to make this happen.

LIGHTS- I'm looking for a talented DP that would like to gain great experience and work with me to set creepy and scary moods with little money. I want to get someone on board first and then discuss with them what lights and equipment we'll need for the script.

CAST-

JOEY: Age 10-14 boy- really badly behaved kid.

SANTA: Big, over-weight male. A very disheveled Santa. Beard not necessary, but preferred.

MR. HINERITZ: School Principal looking male. Age 30-60 German accent (real or fake)

Email me with your resume or examples of your work or whatever you have, and what you're interested in, as well as your contact information.

Payment is little to none, unfortunately, but like I said- we are make up artists, so a share of trades is always an option, too.

choosemorgan@gmail.com

HO HO HO AND AN OH NO! - AN INTRO TO MY MOVIE

i could rant all day about how much i dislike christmas...but actually the rant is scheduled for a little later on in front of the press, so let's just say that i don't get it, i don't like it, and since it means soooooo much to everyone else that all they do is shove it down your throats for 3 months prior, i care even less...

halloween is and always will be the only true holiday on my calendar...which you all bastardize by dressing up like the "hottest" celebrities and giant foam bananas anyway (instead of trying to get kids to pee their pants and cry) so OF COURSE you love christmas! you're all homos! and don't you realize by now that ALL christmas songs have subliminal messages in them?? why do you think they play them in every single store from october-january? and why do you think you ended up spending $600 on a heated toilet seat cover for your great aunt, a robot puppy (that really poops) for that bastard child of your dry cleaning lady, an entire boudoir decorative pillow set for your boss's cousin, and a lamp that looks like a fishbowl...for yourself....and you only went into target to pick up laundry detergent?! and then guess what you forgot to get? the fucking laundry detergent!
well...now that that's out of my system...my point:

I'M MAKING A CHRISTMAS MOVIE!

::AND THERE WAS GREAT REJOICING::

oh, wait...did i mention it's a horror movie...that kills puppies and children?!

::AND THERE WAS...dead silence::

me and the very talented vince slaughter whipped up a deliciously awful script within hours that is so ingenious that it needs to be done justice. it was like once the concept was decided upon, it wrote itself. ITS GOT A MIND OF ITS OWN! so now onto the hard part...actually seeing it thru to production...locations, sets, props, costumes, make-up, equipment, a cast and crew...sigh...i'm not giving away any details, but if anyone is interested in being a part of it, let me know. after all is said and done- instant fame and fortune...GUARANTEED! let's get to work, people!

LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!

and YOU! Fetch me some coffee!

FOUL MOUTHED PUPPIES ON CHAIRS AND OCCASIONALLY IN BATHTUBS!

kristen gets full credit for starting the trend by sending me this little guy...

and then i thought to myself...what could possibly be more awesome than a cute puppy sitting on what is obviously a silly chair for a dog to be in...EUREKA! what if these puppies weren't so nice...WHAT IF these puppies had no manners at all??!!

ladies and gentleman...without further ado...i give you the biggest web collection of:

FOUL MOUTHED PUPPIES ON CHAIRS AND OCCASIONALLY IN BATHTUBS...

unfortunately there's plenty more where this came from...